Escape Velocity

Hardened grains of salt
tiny meteors, waiting to be
swept off into deeper space
when my eyelids close
I can see nothing
except the fireworks I wish
that we were making.
Finally, a clear night!
nebulous clouds dissipate
as I gaze north
Ursa Major wags his tail
and waves his paw, but
he won’t ever come to visit
(to be fair, I would need
a much bigger table)
so even though I’ll never
feel the freedom of
escaping Earth’s greedy pull
I am content in the
study of her neighbors
whenever I can
get the chance

MSBQ

Man’s Predicament

Perhaps you can help me
you see, I find myself taking
upon my human shoulders the yoke
of mankind’s most noble struggle
one of my biggest sins and also
my greatest strengths is
my narcissistic and eternal
quest for knowledge.
literature, philosophy, history,
science, law, theology, even math
(when I absolutely must)
and the more I learn, the more
I realize how little I know
how can this be fair?
Justice, her bow in hand
but with an empty quiver,
stands before me: an
alternative deity of harmony
when I try to speak, to defend
myself and my actions,  I am
quite surprised to find my own
two hands covering my mouth.
Oh, that you would hear me!
escape your sedentary lifestyle,
be free of the shackles that
you have forged for yourself
and live a life of glorious mistakes.
to teach, I have come to understand,
is to educate and not to school.
even beyond my man-made constructs
of poetry and classic literature
there is, indeed, truth out in the
beautiful world of ours.
We share it. We breathe it.
We invite it into our homes.
We ignore it on freeway offramps.
We cover it up with sacred words.
We scribble it onto napkins.
We play it upon our hearts and minds,
and on strings and through metal
until it rings clear and bright
like the first sunrise ever recorded;
it will be marvelous, now and forever.

MSBQ

Truth In Aesthetics

One marble column,
ponderous and smooth
the Artist stands on the threshold
calloused fingers graze the sides
his eyes reflecting nothing but the
cold grey and white monolith
no form permeates the marble
inside the Artist’s eyes, much
to his amateur dismay. He could
almost hear his professor’s words:
“Only the truth can create the truth.”
A thousand years of art flashes
before his mind’s eye, cutting his
feeble perception down to
the golden ratio of thought-
two thirds reflection, one third concept.
For hours he sat, examining each inch
of the mineral wall for some hidden
potential artistic energy
but to no avail.
Art was not a thing to be created;
it lie only truly in nature, and some
would argue not even there.
His enthusiasm fizzling, the Artist
throws his hammer and chisel
out the paned window; down, down
into the ruddy streets below him.
Tiny shards of sky blue glass lay
scattered around the floor,
the light of the setting sun cast
an imposing shadow upon the
hardened marble block.
Maybe nature, after all,
holds the key.

MSBQ

2009, The Year of Unexpected Change

As the title above shows, this was definitely a year for unexpected changes in my life.

A very dear friend graduated college, and then moved away.
Another came back to visit, and then faded into the shadows.

I found love in the last place I would ever have looked.
I helped bring a friendship crashing down… and it wasn’t even mine.

I found a place off-campus to live, solidifying my status as an adult.

I took a leap of faith, in the form of a trip across the country.
And here I am on another one. Literally.

A lot of things have changed.

Before I go over my resolutions for this year and write out some new ones for 2010, I need to say this: even if we may not be on the best of terms or if we haven’t spoken in months or if you’ve never gone anywhere, I love you. I consider every one of you in my heart as a friend, and no matter what, all of you pop up in my mind whenever it’s blank… and we all know that’s more often than not.

Anyways. On to the main event!

RESOLUTIONS FOR 2009
the retrospect edition

1) recognize opportunities in my life
and take advantage of them when they show up
in many ways, I both succeeded and failed at this one.

2) read Bless Me, Ultima by Rudolfo Anaya
it’s been a while, and i want to read that again. for me.
sadly, I never got around to this one. I read Tolkien again, as well as Rand, but no Anaya.

3) GET INTO THE SCHOOL OF EDUCATION (at SPU)
it’s sort of, you know, what i want to do with my life
believe it or not, I’m still awaiting official approval for this one as we speak. Last June, I applied for the School of Education at SPU and they turned me down. They said my GPA was too low. Now, after a single quarter, I have jump-started my GPA; with two more A’s under my belt and more determination than ever, I am sitting here with my fingers crossed that they let me in this time.

4) get another poem (or two) published
i’ve done it before, i can do it again
check this one off. In the spring edition of a quarterly journal put out by poeticmatrix.com, I was published again. Both online and in printed form, my work gained reputation alongside a poet laureate and many other talented authors.

5) attend and enjoy Bumbershoot 2009
this year showed me why i love Seattle so much.
unfortunately, between my total void of funds and the lack of good bands on this year’s lineup, I did not go to Bumbershoot this year. Depending on who shows up next year, I’ll go and you can come with me!

6) continue writing poetry and work towards a collection
i’ve been told that i should put together something
check this one off too. In the past six months alone, I have written 30+ pieces, as well as my first attempt at the short story genre. As for a collection, my total number of pieces is now above 75, a number that still surprises me to this day.

7) let my hair grow out
i don’t know exactly how long, but i’m going for it
ask my friends and family, I definitely did this one. LOL I went something like six months without a haircut, and soon I had a fro even a hobbit would envy. I got a haircut last week, and boy did it feel wonderful.

8 ) hold onto my friends (life goal)
some are farther away than i’d like now
looking back at last December, I can see why I wrote this. And sadly, I did not do as good a job as I could have. I made a few mistakes this year, and thanks to some counseling I am able to reconcile with my regrets. I’m sorry if I slighted you this year. I am trying to work on this Michael guy… and it’s not an easy process.

9) take care of my new friend Stalin
he’s a fish, don’t worry
Stalin is alive and swimming. Not only that but now he has a friend to talk to for the holidays lol

10) fall in love (life goal)
and this time, i’m not going to look for it.
Wow. Not only did I find it, but I was definitely looking for it this year… just not in the place that I found it. I am supremely happy with where I am now, and it’s all because of one conversation months and months ago. It’s crazy how life works.
This year has been both amazing and tearful. Looking back at the last twelve months, I cannot believe how many things have changed completely.

So now I need to think of some new resolutions…

RESOLUTIONS FOR 2010

1. Do my student teaching.
Doesn’t matter to me if it’s primary or secondary, but I definitely need to do this within the next year.

2. Continue writing poetry, and reopen the short story idea.
To be honest, I really liked putting together that little story. I’m hoping to do something more soon.

3. Don’t screw this up.
Seriously. Don’t.

4. Reconnect with friends far away.
It needs to happen. There are quite a few now.

5. Take a trip, preferably a spontaneous one.
Call it what you will, I simply miss the random idea of driving to Ocean Shores lol

6. Start getting a teaching job lined up.
This one sort of goes together with number one, but it’s technically the next step.

7. Do some charity work of some kind.
Soup kitchen’s calling.

8. Learn how to cook.
Because pancakes and macaroni and cheese aren’t cutting it.

9. Lose a few pounds.
Probably the most common resolution in the country, I’m hopping onto the band wagon.

10. Pray more.
God and I have been on strange terms these last few years. I want to work on that.
Well that’s all folks. Have a fun and safe New Year’s Eve, and have a drink for me! 

Love,

MSBQ

Tabula Rasa

The double-paned glass of the door frosts over slowly as he walks in. He exhales audibly; a grey cloud of life evaporates in front of his face. It was a café he knew well enough; the walls were covered with smudged paintings and people with smudged faces. It had been a long walk. A man in the corner assessed the newcomer’s entrance, shrugged, and went back to his game of solitaire. A pair of loud, bubbly young girls discusses their days by the windowsill. The barista, a tall and long-faced man, asks him what he wants. “Just a glass of water, thank you,” he says. He takes off his backpack and his ragged outer coat to sit down gratefully at the table nearest the door. Vein striped fingers search his pockets until they find their prize: a half-eaten golden delicious apple. He sits, his back to the wall, holding his meal like a weathered dog holds its favorite bone. A small-framed lady with a small chocolate lab in tow comes in the door, and the latter stretches the limit of its leash in order to investigate the stranger at the nearest table. “No, no, Gracie,” the woman’s voice said in a hushed tone. No one, not even the dog, gives the man more than a moment’s notice. As he carefully places his empty glass in the bus tray, the pale yellow light illuminates a tattoo on the man’s left wrist. Gothic letters spell out two words: tabula rasa. The barista nods as the man replaces his outer shell, complete with a tattered orange beanie. “Have a good night man,” calls the man behind the counter. “No promises,” was all he would get back.

Police reports said that he was found cold in the “rich” part of town. He had hidden inside the remains of a large plastic barrel, in the backyard of a house with blue trim. A neighbor had noticed an unusual lump in the blanket of snow that had fallen that evening, and after sending his son to go check it out they had called 911. Paramedics didn’t even try to revive him; the color had drained from the man’s face long before his heart had stopped his weary cadence. Three sets of blue and red lights rotate silently in the cul-de-sac, piercing the picturesque little neighborhood with a reminder of their urban presence. It takes two men to lift the body onto a stretcher, white flakes still gently adding to the man’s frosted features. One lonely arm hangs down and sways with every bump the stretcher hits, barely visible in the pale moonlight are two words: tabula rasa. Neighbors watching from across the way hold their children tighter as the medics pack up and leave, they feel sad but they cannot articulate why. A young girl stops catching snowflakes on her tongue long enough to ask her mother, “Who was that man, mommy?” Her mother just shrugs. “A very sick old man, honey. No one important,” she answers. Consoled by her mother’s words, the girl goes back to twirling around in the snowfall. She will never again think about the man she saw that night; the thought of him erased as swiftly as the tiny snowflakes hitting her mouth, instantly liquid and then, gone.

MSBQ