Feeling Nostalgic

December 28, 2008

an evening of bliss and regret
I remember barking out the window
through downtown Seattle
and sleeping under a desk

the best dream I have ever had
Spiderman pajamas and curly hair
I had met the love of my life
and her name was Ruth

a decision that needed to be made
you held my hand and walked me
through six months of what could never be
now you’re back and I’m scared shitless

the discovery of a new world
sword and shield in hand, I ran into
endless battle and made new friends
in Oklahoma and New Zealand

an afternoon in the April sun
who would think that something
as innocent as sidewalk chalk could
make a guy like me a threat?

a chance to return home
two magical days in the California sun
running through Tomorrow-land
living like a child once more

the longest night of spring quarter
somehow I ended up at the Ballard ER
thank god for paramedics or else
I would have lost a friend

a chance at love, freckles and all
we flew in the face of everyone who
thought it wouldn’t work out
she smelled like summer rain

speaking of summer!
it’s almost as if the days getting
longer expanded my heart
in more than one way

a few days spent by the river
we had crossed a few by the end
climbed a mountain and enjoyed
being men in the wild

coming back to that big blue box
old friends and new, it wasn’t ever
as bad as I made it out to be
plus the discount rocks

the second hardest decision
I would make this year, I just wish
that it had been in person and not
by text message

a welcome urban escape
checking out underground art
and grooving to a flawless concert
by my favorite band

a major transition, in a couple of ways
not only a new roommate but
some lines were drawn in the sand;
lines I knew I would have to cross

the late bloom of a spring flower
something told me that you knew
I know I have an awful poker face
and it wasn’t even the dreams

becoming a Roman!
perhaps more than just the lingo
picking up their mannerisms, like
leaving my mark on the world

reading a few books, after all
I had finished Rand and wanted to
immerse myself once again in
Tolkien’s Middle-Earth

the end of the quarter brought
more than just the end of classes
saying goodbye to a friend hurts
I wish that hug had lasted forever

stuck indoors, all my friends
immobilized by the blanket of
surprise December snow; at
least it was a white Christmas

they really ought to think of
a name for this week between
Christmas and New Year’s Eve
it’s a perfect time to reminisce


Love Potion #9

December 24, 2008

a quick science experiment:
take two bunny rabbits, one male one female
put them in a cage for five minutes and
observe their ancient dance

shouldn’t the same apply to a couple
of human beings? the kind of “chemistry”
that everybody’s talking about, it must
go beyond the impulse to fuck

we are creatures of habit
and also creatures of instinct
what I wonder now is what’s this
thing called love and what’s it taste like?

my mind’s playing catch-up
with Mother Nature and
a scatter plot shows where
my heart has been, postage paid in full
some kind of Jules Verne adventure!
and now, dear reader, is epiphany

a raw, shuddering feeling that
burns through your nervous system
the electricity of human contact
this is what I question

the query rises slowly, like steam
do I know what love is? do you?
wash your face, cleanse the pallet
take a second look into the mirror

what we fight for is nothing
more than the fear of loss
we are afraid of losing the one
thing that has ever given us
what we asked for

biting our nails in the corner
we grasp with white knuckles
to that which we are afraid to lose
we, the children of Cicero

since when does anyone really
ever know what they want?
certainty is lost in translation
and down in the dregs cries
a scared little boy


The Refrain

December 12, 2008

Said she to the Pagan:
“What you ask I cannot give”
Said he to the Christian:
“Without you I cannot live”

Just a pair, certainly a hand
Of the very worst kind
One so fair and the other no faith
In God nor mankind

He, an actor, calls forth a cry
Bright and strong
She, the Siren, tempts with
A much purer song

With honesty, the two come undone
One lesson has yet to be learned
For it is impossible to know the Flame
Without having first been Burned

The most baffling bit of all:
He strikes with anger, she with grace
None ask for commitment now
Here, Darwin, is your human race